Dreamy Day Trader T-Shirts

'I'll get even with them. Someday I'll become a full-commission stockbroker.'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Day trading.

"You call this sweating bullets over the Jackson account? What caliber?"

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

Inkwell Genie.

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

Men in office, pose as Rodin's: The Thinker. A sign on the wall reads: THINK.

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

'Has everyone read the memo about recycling paper?'

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

"I can't help but think that coming here is a total waste of time"

Clock watcher

"Business is fun, isn't it?"

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"Damn! Just as my inertia was starting to build up momentum."

'Will broker deals for food'

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

"Today opened as November 10, 1987, swung wildly to March 7, 1996, and closed as December 5, 1902."

"It doesn't do you any good being depressed about your job, because you're stuck doing it for the rest of your life."

"I like office work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours!"

'Was Benedict Arnold just a plain old traitor, or was he a day traitor, like you, dad?'

The church of our lady of wall street.