Heroic Adventurer Gifts

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

The Quack Quack Diaries: The Triumphant Return Of Cap'n Quack!

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

"Now you can send it."

Shoot For The Moon

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

"...it's another metal detector."

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

Bird sitting on a wing.

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

"My Son, of course there were only one set of footprints in the sand. I've got a hoverboard."

Sticking out tongue

"Fight or flight?"

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

"Boo hoo, I missed my targets - what's the worst he can do?"

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

'Pity you never have learned to sail...'

People of Courage

"This is our corporate evaluation pond. If you can survive a 15 minute swim, then you are management material."

Man in woods sees sign, 'No Trespassing', next to 'Go Ahead - Make Our Day!'

'I told you to sip it!'

'Well, we made it.'

A woman reads a romance novel.

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

Alcoholidays.

Car driving towards a sign that reads "You are now entering The Holidays - No exits"

"I wonder if I'd still have a paper route if I hadn't been born in the land of opportunity?"

Dial-A-Prayer and Dial-A-Mantra