Hero Worshipper Pillows

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'Mom! Can my role model stay for dinner? He's suspended for three games and has nowhere to go.'

Church for sports worshipers.

"We missed you at church Sunday."

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

Church: Open Sundays

Fitness in church.

Ohm sweet Ohm

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

'Amen will do ... You don't need to do the wave.'

Worshiping the TV.

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

'As a professional discount, I require you to say only two hail Marys.'

The Alter of Football

'Please make it rain on the garden but not the lawn.'

I stick with the celebrity instructors. If I heard of them, I sign up with them.

'When the poor dear retired, he found that he missed his little cubicle.'