Herbal Medicine Gifts

For Witches of a Certain Age

'You the guy who asked for the least expensive generic alternative?'

Herbal/Verbal Remedies: "Snap out of it."

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

"Have you been using herbal remedies again?"

Herbal/Hisbal Remedies.

1999 Influenza Chic.

"I think I need a prescription, Doctor. Those herbal remedies have gotten so expensive I can't afford them!"

"Wow! I've never seen so many get-well plants!"

"Time for your St. John's Wort."

"I'm hoping for herb immunity."

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

"Let's see what your chart says. The patient needs...chamomile tea...a delivery from Concha's Herbal Shop...and 10 gallons of holy water?"

"So Tia Carmen was helping Maria decorate her Christmas tree...and she fell?"

"SARS...mad cow...monkeypox...they've brought us all closer together."

"Please escort Miss Delgado to the private waiting room. She's curing my patients again."

Camomile Tea

Organic Curses

Alternative medicine

Alternative drug deal gone bad.

"Dios mio! I can't believe they're selling this!"

"Here, let me put some ointment on your bug bite. I made it myself from cayenne powder, licorice root and mugwort leaves blended with that vanilla pudding I made last week. Hmm...it's not here."

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Too much cilantro

Medicinal plants

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Mom's Spa'

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

Modern Witch Shoppe

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

Witch in drugstore: They're endangered now, so I need a newt substitute.'

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.