Henman Hill Fan Gifts

"All the atmosphere of 'Henman Hill', but without the travel costs!"

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"He's starting to flag a bit"

'I win!'

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

'This is our top negotiator's office.'

"I liked this camel. I'm gonna miss him. I'm getting all choked up."

"So, it's decided, the party will be on the tenth and BYO drinks as usual..."

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

"It's just the usual Wednesday crowd."

"Wow, fishing sure is fun. I can't believe I caught such a big fish my first time out."

Sign: 'Gerrards Cross - Owens Volley'.

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

Henry was hoping nobody would notice that he had lost his helmet...'

'Jack Tar' Symbolises Nelson's Victory in the Battle of the Nile

"She's had work done on those."

"Foul!"

"Just in case I'm in danger of doing something. . . I'm going to take a cat nap."

'Your better half isn't up here... It seems you were the better half.'

'Jack's foursome gives out trophies at the end of the year...he came in fourth!'

'Don't worry, it's perfectly normal to see a mirage every now and again...'

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

You are no longer in jeopardy.

Scott finds Amundsen got to Pole first and cries

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

'Face it -- you'll NEVER catch up to Lady Godiva's approval rating.'

A restaurant called "Eat'n'Eat"

'Before I throw can you tell me if my feet are behind the line?'

'Ooops - here it says 'FIRST cross the desert, THEN eat your camel'...'

The Life of the Party

'What's the best part about living in Switzerland?'