Helpline Worker Gifts

'If you now feel like punching someone in the face. . . press five!'

"Would you please speak more slowly and with a different accent?"

"I'm glad you were satisfied with the service but please don't tell people or everyone will expect it."

"Can I call you back? I'm shopping."

"I volunteer for the Samaritans. I tried to phone in sick this morning but they talked me out of it."

"And as we don't have any, 'on hold music' I'm going to hum you a little tune."

Deaths from Coronavirus

Dancing Doctor

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

Tech support...can I help you!

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

Thank you

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

Stress

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

"Your call is important to us, but not as important as this delicious cream donut with chocolate sprinkles that I'm about to eat..."

Essential work against Coronavirus

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

Computer tech support sacred offering

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"I'm sorry, but I don't make the rules around here. But I'd be happy to connect you with any number of people who think they do!"

Thank you Doctor

'No, I don't want to change my long distance phone company, and,,, Yes, I should have known it was you calling'

'Try re-installing your system software and turn off any file extensions.'

Boy at Computer.

"Sorry, I spaced out. What were you saying about your life threatening emergency?"

Planned Parenthood: 'What do you mean, you want an unexpected pregnancy leave?'

'You've been friendly to a customer? You anwered his question competently and solved his problem?? Don't you dare to do that again, mister!!'

"I got whiplash when I recoiled from your quote."