Helpline Advisor Gifts

'No,I don't know where you can buy good quality cannabis.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"All the celebrities come here."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

HUAWEI 5G

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

Govt. UK led by Seance

"How do I get down?"

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''