Helpline Advisor Mugs

'No,I don't know where you can buy good quality cannabis.'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"All the celebrities come here."

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

HUAWEI 5G

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

Govt. UK led by Seance

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"How do I get down?"

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"Couldn't you just set up a facebook page or a blog?"

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''