Hellscape Humorists Gifts

"A dry heat - no problem. But this humidity."

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

Hellbillies.

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

"Running out for lawyers and CEOs. Want anything?"

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

Special Place in Hell...

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

'Tastes like it's been stored next to a blazing furnace for twenty years - Perfect!'

'It's another 'Wish you were here' postcard from my friend in Hell.'

"Good news! Our septic tank is shot."

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"

"Well... Can't say I'm surprised!"

'This next song is one I wrote before I souled out.'

"As you can see, this front will continue for quite some time."

"Hey - are those scented candles???"

'Where do you see yourself i 500 or say, 5000 millennium?'

'So where are you going?'

'Now, cut that out!'

Angel Puppet.

We should be fine, provided we keep one pitchfork apart.

"Are you sure you should be on this list?!"

A cold day in Hell.

"Pierce and Pebble, Solicitors. Here's a writ for you to appear in court for harrassment of our client, Dr Faustus."