Helicopter Parenting Historian Pillows

'Honey it's time to let go and cut the cord. He's a man now! He's going to college for goodness sake!'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"How is it gendered?"

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

A boy and his spin patrol.

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

The conversion.

'If you fuss over him all the time and make his life too comfortable, he'll never leave!'

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

The Mother Of Damocles

"Remember - kindergarten is an excellent opportunity to make connections for first grade."

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

'Is it all right if I have a snack out of the refrigerator?'

"GP or chemist? To be on the safe side let's go to A and E."

"My mom won't let me eat snowflakes unless they're certified organic."

"Does it come with instructions?"

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

"I couldn't find the off switch."

"Yes, I'm wearing a cowbell. It's just until my mom figures out a way to track me on my phone."

"Which one's mine?!"

"Please remind your mom and dad that its not a parent-teacher-attorney conference."

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

'I was well-informed, well-adjusted, a useful member of society - then I married.'

"What channel is David's summer camp on?"

'I gave them shared parental leave and they left me holding the baby!'