Helicopter Parenting Historian Pillows

'Honey it's time to let go and cut the cord. He's a man now! He's going to college for goodness sake!'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"How is it gendered?"

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

A boy and his spin patrol.

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

"I don't think my parents have a lot of confidence in me."

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

'If you fuss over him all the time and make his life too comfortable, he'll never leave!'

The Mother Of Damocles

The conversion.

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

"Remember - kindergarten is an excellent opportunity to make connections for first grade."

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

"Does it come with instructions?"

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

'Is it all right if I have a snack out of the refrigerator?'

"My mom won't let me eat snowflakes unless they're certified organic."

"GP or chemist? To be on the safe side let's go to A and E."

"I couldn't find the off switch."

"Please remind your mom and dad that its not a parent-teacher-attorney conference."

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

No, it does not look stupid, and yes, you are going to wear a helmet.

"Yes, I'm wearing a cowbell. It's just until my mom figures out a way to track me on my phone."

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

"Which one's mine?!"

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

'I was well-informed, well-adjusted, a useful member of society - then I married.'

"What channel is David's summer camp on?"