Heist Humorists Gifts

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"Dammit, Trevor! Just say 'Please' so we can get outta here!"

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"I started to think outside the box. Then I started to think outside the law."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

The Mafia Goes Green.

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'I'm here due to an identity theft.'

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

It looks like wood, but it's actually vinyl siding.

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

'Hello, Mum!'

Bank (with saloon type doors)

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

"Keep it running."

"Money or your beard!"

'With every 'Ying' there's a 'Yang'!'

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

Early Ram Raids

Valentines for Real Estate

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

"THIS IS A HOLD UP!"

Estate agents lined up for sale during house-price slump.

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

Cuffwear, 2004

"Oh, and a five and five ones."

'Beats me why I took this place. No en-suite, no walk-in robe and no dining room!'

Night Deposits.

"I'll carry you over a regular threshold, darling, as soon as the housing market improves."

Police artist drawing a snarling dog while an injured cat desribes him

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'