Hedge Hero T-Shirts

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

I have a balanced financial portfolio and I keep these plants trimmed. Those are my hedging strategies.

Beware of the Undergrowth.

"I suppose I could do this myself. Or I could hire someone to do it. Or I could tell Baldo he's too young to do it."

Have you let things go a bit in the garden. . ? Call Topiary Man for 24/7 clipping support."

Look Out For the Cat

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"Beware of God"

"Relax. They're just crows."

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

You will always find a spot to garden

Make up your mind. Next exit 500 miles.

"I like keeping bees, but it's so hard keeping all their names straight."

'The theater better put on good shows this fall, because we're having a bumper tomato crop.'

Say speed

September: All the familiar signs of harvest are with us once more.

Food Prices and the Ukraine War

Pumpkin Time!

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

"He's retreated into nationalism."

Planner at work.

Way to go

Speed limit 70mph and up.

Picked On

"My family's been working this land for at least 400 years...!"

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

A 'failed' brake check!

oh no - here comes the national trust again...

"We think it's terribly important that you meet the people responsible for the food you're eating tonight."

"I'm sorry but I can't bring the dessert menu until you at least try to finish your peas and carrots, it's policy."

'Are you OK Justin? You don't look very well.'