Heavenly Tv Buff Gifts

God operating a universal remote.

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Television Readers.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

7 Dwarves of Retirement

Mary Tyler Moore: Spot the Difference

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Can't Touch This

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

Homo Zapiens

Tunnel of TV

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

"If I were you, I wouldn't change the channel!"

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

Woman and TV.

TV and cleaner

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'