Heavenly Tv Buff Gifts

God operating a universal remote.

Television Readers.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Can't Touch This

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Homo Zapiens

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

Tunnel of TV

"If I were you, I wouldn't change the channel!"

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

TV and cleaner

Woman and TV.

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

"See, Honey, I told you that TV would fit in this room!"