Television Drama Buff Gifts

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- You lifted that alibi from a September, 1958 episode of 'Perry Mason!'

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

Television Readers.

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

7 Dwarves of Retirement

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

Tunnel of TV

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Homo Zapiens

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

Succession 2

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"If you're such a great Doctor, how come you're not on Chicargo hope or ER?"

"If I were you, I wouldn't change the channel!"

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"First, the disclaimer: I'm a doctor portraying an actor portraying a doctor."

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'

Woman and TV.

"How come there's no feel-good performance art?"

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

"We need to walk."

"See, Honey, I told you that TV would fit in this room!"