Heavenly Tinkerers Gifts

"Just between you and me, the universe would move in much less mysterious ways if the spark plugs and the oil were changed on a half-way regular basis."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

'I don't like the sound of the engine.'

'Roger's busy making a cat-flap in the kitchen.'

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

The Z Chromosome: Zebratic engineering with questionable results.

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

The Work-from-Home-Polka

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

'I've run your letter through the word processor several times, sir, but it just keeps getting worse.'

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

Warning! Stay off the biotech lawn.

'By selective breeding over the course of 10,000 generations, we've managed to create the world's ugliest fruit fly!

Newton's cradle

Innovate or die.

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'

'Help me, sir... I want to save my last sip of lemonade, but it doesn't work!'

Professor...what are you doing?

'So I left a little bit out of the genetic code when I cloned you. You're only missing a nose. What's the big deal?'

'There's no fear of him making a Frankenstein's Monster out of this is there?'

"For centuries scientists have wanted to develop a method to help ants feel like cowboys. Today that quest is at an end."

Receiving the early-morning T-mail.

"To return to normal height professor, we simply: 1. Switch on The Nano-Ray. 2. Find the Plug; 3. Insert it..."

Remote control car breakdown.