Tv Tinkerers Gifts

'Honestly Simon, you treat this house like a hotel!'

Trying to get a TV reception from a bald head.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Early cyborg.

Gadget geek.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

The Not-So Smart Meter

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

Bicycle sat nav.

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

Congratulations on your retirement!

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

Fixing the Computer.