Heavenly Rock Band Fan Gifts

Dead rock star plays loud music in heaven

"It was better before God took up knitting."

ZZZZZZZ Top

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"The last time I heard a beat like this I was at a Grateful Dead concert."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

An amplified harp

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

'Help me Rhonda I've fallen & I can't get back up.'

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

Heaven

Old songs made new

"... and the fact that I ain't never caught a rabbit should have no bearing on our friendship."

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

Bob Dylan

Eddie Van Halen

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

Sixties rock stars in heaven.

"Closed until further notice."

"Doesn't anybody play the harp anymore?"

'Did I hear right - Bob Dylan's changin' his name back?'

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

"Ugh, it rings every time an angel gets his wings - how do I put it in silent mode?"