Heavenly Humors Pillows

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"We only got six days of funding."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

The Adventures of God

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"It's true: no more burpees."

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Local News in Heaven