Heavenly Host Gifts

"We only got six days of funding."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

Cardiac Recovery.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

The Adventures of God

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Look man, no wings!'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

Halo Frisbee.