Hosting Hero Gifts

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Come dine with me!

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

Cardiac Recovery.

"Sorry, that's not my table."

Non-Drip ?

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

'Caw blimey!'

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Roasted

The household cavalry

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'The kids are on a hunger strike, I'm on a diet, and you're on your own.'

"I'm having friends over for dominoes, so everyone needs to clear out of the kitchen."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

'Restaurant' in bad need of staff

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."