Heavenly Cuisine Pillows

"What's good here?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

Local News in Heaven

"The bagels are better in New York."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

Shoe repair

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St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

"The wings are addictive."

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

'It's an acquired taste!'

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

Michel Roux Jr

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

Chef looking up confused, Waiter behind him with pancake on his head.

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"Just when you thought every possible permutation of the cookery contest show had been exhausted here's Battlechefs. A cookery contest show on a ship!"

'Eggs Benedict. . . Aren't we feeling 1% this morning?!'

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

Bangers and Mash

Black Truffles!

"The last thing I remember is hearing the doctor say oops!"

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'