Heavenly Cuisine Gifts

"What's good here?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

Local News in Heaven

"The bagels are better in New York."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

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Shoe repair

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

"The wings are addictive."

'All You Can Eat Wings.'

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

Michel Roux Jr

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'It's an acquired taste!'

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

Chef looking up confused, Waiter behind him with pancake on his head.

Black Truffles!

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

'Eggs Benedict. . . Aren't we feeling 1% this morning?!'

Bangers and Mash

"Just when you thought every possible permutation of the cookery contest show had been exhausted here's Battlechefs. A cookery contest show on a ship!"

"The last thing I remember is hearing the doctor say oops!"