Heavenly Foodies Gifts

Pizza delivery to heaven.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"The wings are addictive."

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

'All You Can Eat Wings.'

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'We let our products speak for themselves. This is ‘I Can't Believe It's So Tasty And Price-Friendly In Today's Demanding Market.' '

All You Can Eat

Waiting staff

"What were you expecting?"

'Hell's Kitchen/God's Pantry'

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

'Well, she ate the apple -- I SAID you should have the whole thing catered.'

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

"Oh, for God's sake, Harold, please close your mouth when you chew your food! This is a fancy restaurant."

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

"What do you mean, 'No hot pastrami'? What kind of heaven do you call this?"

"I'll have the business prodigy's lunch."

Young Professional Recipe Test

"How do I remember orders without writing them? Fatso got the fries, Bitchface got the burger, Pimples got pizza, and Pignose got pulled pork."

"Actually, I'm not hungry anymore. While I was waiting for my scone, I had one of your delicious sconces instead!"

Angel Food Cafe...Manna and more: 'Would you like fries with your order?'

"We'll cut you some slack because you're new here, but in the future you should know we frown on Devil's food."

'Sure $16.95 is a lot for a burger and fries, but what can you do?'

"What's good here?"

Hell's Kitchen / God's Pantry.

Diet.

'Not so much a 'free lunch'...more a 'free seventeen course meal with as much champagne as you can drink'.'