Heartbeat Hound Gifts

"How did you get your heart to stop beating like that?"

'That was fun!'

Love a Mutt

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

Hair of the dog spots: christmas jumper

'Get me a hundred milligrams of Oxycontin... And pick up something for this guy while you're at it.'

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

'Our sales have been uneven but our company has heart.'

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

A typical Monday. Zombie Truck-Driving Maniacs! South Pole Penguin Love! That's a stupid eco-friendly chick documentary! Insipid, mindless, violent zombie crud! Negotiations commence, nearly a week before date night. Wimp! Blockbuster head!

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

Hip Hop Physician: 'Put a halt on salt and cut back on fat. Are you down with that?'

'Heel.'

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

'Doctor Corazon, I'm in love with you. You make my right ventricle go pitter-patter.'

'Hey, Lori! Take a look at Mr. Geckler's EKG!'

"They're remaking the old 'Dracula' film again..."

Playing with the dog with a boomerang.

Stethoscope

Bob's Heart Valves 'N' Stuff (store is open)

"Tick, tick, tick..."

"You can't check my pulse while I'm checking your pulse!"

The Perils of Reading Ghost Stories Before Bed.

'I'd say it's a fungal infection.'

News: Clown found in hot tub with pigs

"And in breaking news - the word 'unprecedented' has been used an unprecedented number of times during the past year."

Doctor monitoring his own heart attack.

"Thumpety-Thump, Thumpety-Thump, …. Ka-Chunk, Ka-Chunk, Ka-Chunk,… Thumpety-Thump. Thumpety-Thump……"

"I hear the heartbeat of Manhattan."

'No thanks.'

Nevada Poll Worker: I saw rampant voter fraud.

The Best Run of The Season Pt. 1

'The good news is we were able to re-attach your severed hand.'

'You're howling off key again!'

"He can't have that, or anything else he likes. I'm on a diet."