Heart Hero Gifts

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Dancing Doctor

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Saving a Heart

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'What's holding him up?'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

Musical genres

Jerry Lordan

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

Medical Examinations.

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

'Very funny!'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

No Bruch!

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"You call all this a side effect?"

"First, do no harm. After that, go nuts."

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'