Heart Hero Pillows

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

Your heart is doing well with the pig valve we put in. Now, what was your question?

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Dancing Doctor

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Saving a Heart

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'What's holding him up?'

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

Jerry Lordan

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

Musical genres

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

Medical Examinations.

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'Very funny!'

No Bruch!

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"You call all this a side effect?"

"First, do no harm. After that, go nuts."