Healthy Eater Humorist Pillows

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away...can it be a candy apple?"

'No dinner for me mum. I don't want to spoil my appetite for in between meal, snacks.'

Salt flats - 100mi. Low sodium salt flats - 150mi.

FOOD TENDED TO GO DIRECTLY TO EMILY'S EARS....

"I ate here daily, until I found out it's his name."

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

Vegetarian Nightmare.

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'The customer is always right...'

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

"I'm keeping 'up' distance... there's a reason they are called DROPlets."

Health

'Climbing up a chair to take a bag of potato crisps out of the cupboard five times a day does nor count as exercise, sir!'

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

"Well, then - two apples a day."

"Do you realize what the sodium content of this water is?"

Snowman with big carrot nose to one with small carrot nose: 'I'd increase your beta carotene.'

"One slice—hold the bread."

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

'It was at this point that I insisted all employees eat their vegetables.'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."