Healthcare Worker Who Enjoys Cartoons Pillows

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Happy Birthday to you.

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

'Snap out of it.'

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

Disorderlies

'On second thought, you can go home anytime you want, big fella.'

Just Browsing.

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Your appointment's been cancelled. You took too long filling out those forms."

"Good news! It's only cancer."

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

'He still doesn't know how serious an amputation he's had, nurse, so try not to act too shocked.'

Plastic Surgery

"According to your EKG, you are not a good hearted person."

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'Doctor will you step out here and adjust Mr. Hendrick's pacemaker?'

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

"Wake up, RIP. The doctor will see you now."

'Too many tv dinners I'm afraid.'

'Your HMO won't cover injuries stemming form office politics.'

'The amputation went well Mr. Johnstone but we have had one slight hiccup.'

Surgeon with hearts on his shirt.

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

'Yes, I suppose it's worth a try - after all we have nothing to lose.'

"I like to being post-operative chats with the good news... you no longer have to worry about taking care of yourself."

'You'll have to wait a while. There's only a skeleton staff on.'

'The bandages can come off tomorrow, but it's not essential!'

'You have the new disease that terrifies the medical community... It's cure is easy and cheap.'

'I've mislaid a scalpel.'

"The good news is our insurance offers a lot more coverage than this terrible hospital gown!"