Healthcare Systems Gifts

45% of GPs Ignore Nice Hypertension Guide.

'I'm just a struggling actor. Your insurance policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'

"We need to make cuts...shall we start with the heart?"

'The DOH is targeting the problem of repeat prescriptions with some repeat proposals.'

"Our records show that you haven't subjected yourself to any costly, useless tests in quite some time."

'I would like to see you lower the numbers on your blood pressure, cholesterol and delinquent doctor bills.'

'I'm sorry, your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing conditions or post-existing conditions.'

"Oh no, not another horror story."

'I also examined you for insurance but didn't find any.'

Insured and Uninsured Detector

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

vaccine wars.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

A midwife holding a baby

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.