Healthcare Policies Gifts

'You can NOT be turned down for this insurance, but we reserve the right not to pay off on claims.'

Dr. Atlas gets the jump on Trump

'The recession is over, again.'

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

Flu vaccine.

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

"Let's use the dog's prescription. His refills are cheaper."

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

Health Care Crisis table.

Jesus Christ, Health Insurance CEO

"Your arm is broken - so it should fit in well here."

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

Govt. UK led by Seance

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Doctors are all booked up. Nurse is busy. The best I can do is offer to type your symptoms into Google.'

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

The NHS begins using outside contractors for routine operations.

'This drug is so expensive...if it were recalled the stock markey might crash.'

'I decide reimbursement rates at the Healthcare Exchange of Oz!'

'Your hospital needs more nurses? So hire more nurses!'

Consortia set to take over

"Just to be on the safe side, I'd like to start an aggressive course of billing you."

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

'Due to cutbacks on your insurance plan, your visits to Dr. Phil are no longer covered. You'll have to start seeing Physician's Assistant Phil.'

Trumpcare is buried by the House and Senate while Obamacare remains alive.

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

'I have an open-door policy, but only until the air conditioner is repaired.'

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

"There are some things medical science cannot explain...like where the hell our health care system is heading."

'Let's keep pulling it and see what happens.'

'Sorry - global warming is not covered!'

Playing doctor: 'This time I get to play the HMO bureaucrat who decides if you live or die.'