Healthcare Leader Gifts

Frank Hester

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Cardiac Recovery.

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Medical personnel give their hearts

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Physician tending a mummy.

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

Disease Management

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"I won't stick my tongue out. You told me it was rude."

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'