Healthcare Executive Gifts

'Unfortunately our new strategic initiative of a '360 degree focussed policy realignment of a core client-facing structural practices' ran our of steam before we could finish saying it!'

Health Maintance Organisation / Huge Medical Oligopoly

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

And One Pill Makes You Richer

"How can he claim to be the face of his company, when they make endoscopes?"

The Level Playing Field.

As your CEO, I think you'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new hands on approach.

'Which explains why Sir David Nicholson has neglected to resign.'

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

Matt Hancock

"Ought we to blow the whistle? He is, after all, a senior consultant."

"It's an insurance company's idea."

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'That's our mission statement.'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'