Healthcare Afficionado Gifts

"Doctors, you can't live with em and you can't live without em!"

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Be Healthy

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'Fitness guru.'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

Healthy Patients Only

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

Get well soon!

Medical Examinations.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

"My approach is nontraditional, but from a uniquely Western perspective."

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"Hey, this anti-depressant you've come up with really works"

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"You call all this a side effect?"

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement