Health Risk Navigator Gifts

"Does anyone know CPR?"

Bad for you but to die for

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Hospital Departments

Adam and Eve - Food scares

Shrink

"Cardiac day patients?"

Medicare: More is Better!

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

'On this hole you don't drive, just putt.'

Woman and scales.

Risk Management - ''Be careful' All you can tell me is 'be careful''

"I don't see the doctor anymore because I'd have to hire some kid to set up the patient portal."

Covid-19 vaccine - locally-sourced $50 /shot

'He can't refer you to me... I referred you to him.'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

"You need to see a specialer. They're like specialists, but less so."

Overeaters anonymous meeting 9 to 10pm

"I raised three kids, so you could say I was in risk management."

'You must be one of Billy Covey's teachers.'

Carcinogenic/Non-carcinogenic.

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

'You need the wisdom of the ages to understand Medicare Part D.'

"You know you're getting old when you can find your way around all the local hospitals blindfolded."

"Don't you have any regular doctors?"

Easy to follow diet plan.