Public Health Navigator Gifts

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

Bad for you but to die for

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Economy

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Well, you'd better learn to like them!

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

Hospital Departments

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

Shrink

Adam and Eve - Food scares

"Cardiac day patients?"

Medicare: More is Better!

Man rides on a vaccine in a sea of COVID-19 molecules.

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

"So. . . now we know - being home is not the same as being home to be schooled. . ."

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

I hadn't seen that jerk in years - then the anti-vaxxers showed up, and now I see him everywhere.

"I am just going outside to find an NHS dentist and may be some time."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

Woman and scales.

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."

"I just hope that when your mother is as old as I am you'll be able to help figure out Medicare Part D."

"I don't see the doctor anymore because I'd have to hire some kid to set up the patient portal."

Casual Mask Fridays

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

Covid-19 vaccine - locally-sourced $50 /shot

Quarandating.

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

Dating... In the age of the coronavirus

"I don't care what it says on the 'chocoholics' website I'm not able to prescribe chocolate mini eggs on the NHS."

'He can't refer you to me... I referred you to him.'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"