Health Regulations Buff Gifts

'This is Martin from the Food Standards Agency...he'll be responsible for your meal tonight!'

"We won!"

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

"These are just the guidelines, the forms are in the truck outside!"

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

How Many It Takes

An astronaut sees a sign saying zoning in force.

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

'That's our corporate ladder.'

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

'You forgot the product label.'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

'The health and safety officer isn't happy. He want's you to tie your shoelaces.'

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'I think you misunderstood us...when we said 'no cuts in the NHS' we clearly meant 'catastrophic cuts and savage staff reductions'.'

'It's from the Federal Trade Commission -- we have to put in a non-smoking section.'

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

"Sorry Sir, no hoodies."

'Legislature' doctor scratching his head over a syringe marked 'Free market Principles' with those marked 'Regulations' in the bin

When government regulations go too far.

'There's a bee here from the Food and Drug Administration who wants to inspect the hive.'

Caution: Institutional Guardrails Not Nearly as Strong as We All Thought...

'They're doing their tests now?

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

May or May not be Hazardous Material...

'I'm just running this past legal.'

'Who gets to be the SOB who quotes us the regulations?'

'I love doing surprise inspections.'

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but your holding facility for children is not in accordance with Brussel's regulations."