Health Policy Humor Gifts

'According to this, the only drug your HMO covers is aspirin, and it has to be generic.'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"I don't leave home without it!"

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"The doctor will now glance in passing at you."

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

"He's our newest partner, we can't afford to be as selective as we used to be."

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'I'm referring you to a doctor with better attorneys.'

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"Some 'King'. They didn't even give me an N95."

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

'And out hospital has rooms...lots of rooms, and some beds, and we've got stairs.'

Is there anyone here from 'customer care'? Could you tell them I'll ring back as soon as I've got my new kidney in!

2020 Panic Room

'So for the record...age you admitting that there are circumstances in which you would not demand an MRI scan for a child with a sniffle for purely budgetary reasons!'

COVID-19 fever

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

'I see a VERY important note from your doctor. Unfortunately, I can't read her handwriting.'

'These are from my attorneys for malpractice suit.'

"Do you have someone to drive you home after your surgery? My car's in the shop and I could really use a ride."

"It's the online blood bank. Do we want to continue shopping?"

"Are you in there, Mr Elkins?"

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

"Thanks for reminding me, doc! I just forgot that I've got Alzheimer's!"

'Our trials show that the new drug performs no better than placebo.'

'He's worried that the 20% that changes is the only 20% he knows!'

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."