Health Planning Gifts

Sadie dear, I think we need to discuss our living wills. Our whats? We need to talk about what to do in case something happens. Like what? You know, if we get sick, or incapacitated, or wind up in a very bad state. Not following. Some people have trouble facing the issue. Oh, you mean like New Jersey?

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

What the Doctor Ordered

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'Well, well, well...'

Lactose Intolerant

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Your contents have shifted."

PSA Banter.

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'