Health Oversharer Pillows

"Your blog indicates I'm not doing well at all."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Exercise Bars

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

Stopping smoking at work had given Tim the energy to explore his creativity ... 'And I like to call this my dance of the fourth quarters 'profit and loss' account.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

'I don't get it! I've been exercising for six weeks now and haven't lost a pound.'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"Go out and play. You can't just sit there watching wall all day."

'I'm going to suggest increasing your level of activity.'

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

Minister rubbishes private sector hospital initiative.

The not so secret life of Walter Mitty

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

"You call that complementary!?!"

"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

Playing doctor: 'This time I get to play the HMO bureaucrat who decides if you live or die.'

I only weigh 95 kilograms...That's 210...in pounds!

'Does my bum look broadband with this?'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

No use being self-conscious