Health Literacy Pillows

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

Lynching on social media

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

What the Doctor Ordered

'Well, well, well...'

Lactose Intolerant

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol