Health Insurance Survivor Gifts

"There's no co-pay this time. The doctor really wasn't paying attention."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

'What's the diagnosis?' - '*Cough*' - 'It's not good, I'm afraid.' - 'Tell me. I have to know.' - 'You have man flu, Peel.' - 'Why, God? Why?!!' - 'I'm so sorry.' -

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

'I hereby sentence you to 40 years labor in an office with fluorescent lighting, just enough salary to keep you alive...'

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

'You'll be happy to know there's nothing wrong with you. That will be four thousand, three hundred and eighty two dollars.'

IRS. That was a rough audit. They disallowed all of my deductions! You can't claim all these people as dependents ... The business expenses are not correct ... and the charitable contributions don't meet guidelines. You're shredding my return with that?! Wow! Ut was The Taxes Chainsaw Massacre!

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

'Because in this economy you make a few compromises for job security.'

Patience Tested While You Wait.

'You want some protection money? Oh, thank God. For a moment there I thought you were from the Inland Revenue.'

City Dump: Resumes.

'The good news is you're no longer in denial. The bad news is your health insurance is.'

Bob gets his walking papers.

"Dear Helen, Freelance works remains lucrative, but stressful."

"Will Obamacare cover my blabbermouthing?"

"I've decided to move back in with my parents."

"Thar someone from the IRS blows!"

The Rebuilding Begins Again

"Get me this! Get me that! Get me..."

"I'm about as mainstream as you can get. I go to church, I'm all for the family, I hate Saddam Hussein, and I'm unemployed."

T-shirt slogan: 'I survived the audit.'

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

'Termites devour my house, the kids devour the hair off my head and taxes devour all my profits... I'm at the bottom of the food chain'!

'I looked forward to retirement. Now, thanks to the economy, I'm looking at re-hirement.'

'I just got audited by the I.R.S...was it legal for them to shake me upside down by my ankles?'

'My balloon mortgage blew up in my face!'

Down and Out

UK Street - 9 Gcse's, 4 A levels, 1 Degree, 0 Jobs.

Desert island within a purse.