Health Insurance Survivor Pillows

"There's no co-pay this time. The doctor really wasn't paying attention."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

'What's the diagnosis?' - '*Cough*' - 'It's not good, I'm afraid.' - 'Tell me. I have to know.' - 'You have man flu, Peel.' - 'Why, God? Why?!!' - 'I'm so sorry.' -

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

'You'll be happy to know there's nothing wrong with you. That will be four thousand, three hundred and eighty two dollars.'

'I hereby sentence you to 40 years labor in an office with fluorescent lighting, just enough salary to keep you alive...'

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

'Because in this economy you make a few compromises for job security.'

Patience Tested While You Wait.

'You want some protection money? Oh, thank God. For a moment there I thought you were from the Inland Revenue.'

'The good news is you're no longer in denial. The bad news is your health insurance is.'

City Dump: Resumes.

Bob gets his walking papers.

"I'm about as mainstream as you can get. I go to church, I'm all for the family, I hate Saddam Hussein, and I'm unemployed."

"Dear Helen, Freelance works remains lucrative, but stressful."

"Get me this! Get me that! Get me..."

"Thar someone from the IRS blows!"

"Will Obamacare cover my blabbermouthing?"

"I've decided to move back in with my parents."

T-shirt slogan: 'I survived the audit.'

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

'Termites devour my house, the kids devour the hair off my head and taxes devour all my profits... I'm at the bottom of the food chain'!

'My balloon mortgage blew up in my face!'

'I looked forward to retirement. Now, thanks to the economy, I'm looking at re-hirement.'

'I just got audited by the I.R.S...was it legal for them to shake me upside down by my ankles?'

Down and Out

"There isn't much call for human cannonballs in .. "

'I'd like to be frozen until health insurance will cover my pre-existing conditions.'

"Your job is gone and never coming back. Now your unemployment benefits are gone and never coming back."