Health Habit Analyst T-Shirts

Latest science behind social distancing advice

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

Screen Time vs Book Time

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'Look! Man has been here!' 'Yeah, it must have been a man because the seat was left up.'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

"It has come to my attention, Collins, that you are hydrating on company time."

'Now don't forget what I told you - no touching!'

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

"Mom, vegetables may help me grow and give me energy, but what if I want to be short and underachieving?"

Jane Goodall patiently gains the trust of her subjects in an unpublicized research project.

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

'I want to speak with you about your work habits.' 'You mean work is habit forming?'

'I have decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of the bedroom.'

'I've decided to narrate my own like in the third person today', he said - 'Oh, God. Not this again', she uttered plaintively. - 'Shut. Up.', she bellowed threatiningly at the fleeing man.

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

"And do you, Robert, mind if I smoke?"

"I wouldn't usually say, 'she's always copying me' is grounds for divorce."

"Stop tensing your abdominals!"

'You need to go on a diet. Your spare tyres are getting spare tyres!'

'Sister Agatha you're flirting with another bad habit,'

'I was dating a weatherman, but he had this annoying habit of always talking up a storm.'

"Well, obviously, I'm not an expert on how humans behave during the day, but I too have noticed a lot of anti-social behaviour around these places called bars..."

'As a matter of fact, he quit smoking three years ago.'

'So when did you first realize that you might be a scientist...?'

"I'm not sure that lifting the remote control is what they meant by 'taking exercise'!"

'Still on the diet pills, huh?'

"He never closes the door when he leaves, which is strange because he hates when I leave a tab open."

"How many bad habits do you have to have to equal once vice?"

'Our company health plan consists of our encouragement of you to wash your hands often.'