Health-conscious Relaxer Gifts

"Your blood pressure is too high. Take two of these."

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

American Idle.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

9-5, 5-9

"We need to walk."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

Inactive wear store.

"Hang on — I'll go take off my work body and put on my comfy body, too."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

"First break since 1996!"

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

'I've still got the fire in my belly, but for the next two weeks I'm solar powered.'

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

"I can't stop thinking about all those available parking spaces back on West Eighty-fifth Street."

"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again."

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

'I'm sure looking forward to relaxing when we get to the summit.'

"On the other hand, Timmy. Fear of failure has kept daddy from ever being seriously injured."

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

I'm practicing for retirement - one hour every day.

"I said I've travelled all over the world. I never said I got out of the box."

'Monday morning feeling? But it's thursday!'

"Didn't I tell you to limber up before you started channel surfing?"

The iWash

'How's the executive training program, going?'

'My husband has retired from the bench.'

"Since Frank retired two years ago, he's been on the alert for some long-dormant artistic talent to develop."

'The best part of growing old is not having to invest for the long term.'

"Have you ever thought about dropping a few pounds, dear?"

'Retirement became more tolerable when I installed this water cooler.'