Health-conscious Hero Pillows

'He had chest pains. A real wake-up call to slow down a bit. Unfortunately, he was on another line and missed it.'

'As you can see, your wife left a few messages reminding you to check your blood sugar.'

'Worried about chemical attacks?...Bioterrorism?...SARS?...

GM Foods.

'The Tooth Fairy and her evil twin, the Sweet-Tooth Fairy.'

Santa contemplates whether or not to leave presents.

'Look, it's not my place to tell you how to live your life, but we picked up your scent from 30 miles away.'

'Well, well, well...'

"What's the protocol here? Shake hands, then sanitize, or sanitize, then shake?"

'We couldn't afford health care any longer so you better start eating better!'

Vending machines labeled 'SNACKS' and 'STATINS.'

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

Thumbs Down for Covid

Distance to avoid contagion

Covid-19 In Schools

Covid-19 virus as a balloon carrying a person away

"Your, health check results are excellent. You have the body of an athlete... Although, probably only of bronze medal standard."

"Dad got tired of reading those scare stories - now he sits there all day, photosynthesizes, and grows his own!"

"40% of the population is overweight, but 20% seems to be down to you."

"People worry about what they're giving their children."

"You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude."

"Don't drink and drive. Don't even putt."

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

"It's old Sid, the man responsible for the no smokin' in pubs ban."

"Had it with your diet, dear?"

Wish fulfilment

'Auntie! This is a non smoking house!'

'I'm sorry, we can't declare you the winner. You have high blood pressure.'

'Of course I support cutting carbon emissions from coal-fired power plants. You don't hear of people that get lung diseases from solar or wind power do you?'

Flu Anxiety.

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

"Do you carry any healthy snack options?"

No smoking graveyard.

'Have you been eating right?'

'It's a new mobile phone with a patch antenna, not only do I get great reception, but I've quit smoking too...'