Health-conscious Heroes Pillows

"I'm concerned about the kids diet."

"My vegan desserts are all-natural, although I often suspect that they're artificially savored."

"Apparently night shifts undermine our health..."

'Well, well, well...'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Distance to avoid contagion

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

Victorious Vaccination Campaign

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

Guns won't help

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

'He seems cranky, but his heart is in the right place -- we gave him an MRI to be sure.'

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

"Don't drink and drive. Don't even putt."

Death in the red zone

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"To play it safe, I still take one aspirin every other day."

Muggers nick nurses bag only to be showered in syringes

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

43rd Annual Doctors Convention

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

Couple in bed with health charts

GM Foods.

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

"So, when will you start telling us about good vs bad cholesterol?"

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

Mutant coronavirus

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof, you've got a nasty case of gingivitis, and to ice things off... yeast confection."

'Have you been eating right?'

'Hang on a minute, the small print says: 'Endorsed by the French Government'...'

'It's so rare you'll need your own teleton.'

"Your, health check results are excellent. You have the body of an athlete... Although, probably only of bronze medal standard."