Health-conscious Contrarian T-Shirts

'The doctor says to stay away from fried foods.'

Protest

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'Harrison, going against your better judgement has made us a lot of money...'

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

Burning the Other

'He's always looking for an argument!'

"I just completely disagree with what you just said about America lacking focus."

"What if my bliss happens to be suing people?"

Whipping Cream

Sunday School. Strange --- Apples were forbidden, but apparently fried foods were okay.

"Don't you shush us, mister! We're famous consultants!"

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

Guru Shifted Thinking

The Devil screeming hate speech through a megaphone called "tolerance" at a person holding up a sign that says "free speech"

The protestor's complaint. Chiropractor. My back won't let me stand up for what I believe in, but it also won't let me just take things sitting down.

'If everyone's thinking outside the box a man who thinks inside the box is bound to have the advantage.'

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

It's not a tongue depressor, it's a used popsicle stick. If you can name the flavor, your taste buds pass the test.

'I used to be a 'nut', but since I made millions in the market, I'm a 'contrarian'.'

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

'I know we're supposed to flock together, but I want to see a different movie...'

Explorers discover the last contrarian without a podcast.

"Humbug! I don't believe that you can tell the future!"

'If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.'

Health Shop: 'Got anything more exciting?' 'Sure, under the counter we've got beefburgers and chips...and cream cakes!'

ANARCHISTS' ASSOCIATION, 'All right! -- our Government grant just came through!'

"I don't like hearing happy stories."

'That old 'diet and exercise scam' again!'