Quirky Contrarian T-Shirts

Pigeon Little

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Reverse psychology

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

'Harrison, going against your better judgement has made us a lot of money...'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full if you have a case."

"I just completely disagree with what you just said about America lacking focus."

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

"What if my bliss happens to be suing people?"

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"It Works For Us."

"The gods aren't angry, Tara. They're just hurt and disappointed."

"Don't you shush us, mister! We're famous consultants!"

"It's chic to be vulnerable."

"Is it always so cloudy?"

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

The existentialist manifesto according to Jean-Paul Sinatra-'oooby Dooby Doo!'

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"