Health App Fanatic Gifts

"In future, Mrs Robinson, I'll just be an App on your smart phone, so you won't need to come to my surgery ever again."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

Valleyview diet clinic

'I told you not to look up your ailments on the internet' - computer screen reads 'You have 3 days to live',

'Be careful...It may not be organic.'

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

"I think it says 'courgettes'."

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

I'll take this one here.

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

Tommy John Surgery.

"I wanted crisps but this assessed my body mass index and gave me an apple ..."

"To play it safe, I still take one aspirin every other day."

"I'm not saying you have to give them up entirely, but you need to eat your young in moderation."

Hold on - it may take a few minutes for his new pacemaker to sync with his Fitbit.

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"The patient handed me this 'wearable technology' and said 'all the answers are on there'."

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

'It's radical but it just might work!'

"That's me. I've had sixty-two."

"I'm glad you checked with me, but yes, I think it's safe for you to do the 'Hokey-Pokey.'"

Food Uncertainty

Too Much SOY

"No wonder he's so skinny - he eats like a bird."

Man passes a storefront that reads "Napland - Tired? Come on in and lie down for awhile!"

"Well, you know what they say...geo-location, geo-location, geo-location!"

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."