Health Anxiety Havens Gifts

"Hypochondriac's Handbook. Where was I?"

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

Worry tank

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

No Immediate Danger

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

"But what if this is all there is?"

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"You dropped yer wallet."

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

"Can I get back to you? I'm getting a call from my worry-coach."

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

"Your free-floating anxiety is floating over to me."

'Have I told you how absolutely lovely you look today?'

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"Will he be okay?"

Concern Chart

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

Just in time for Halloween...

'The medication wont cure you, but it's side effects will!'

"He hates his six-monthly visits."

Horses are nervous animals. . .

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

"No, I don't want a glass of water, but I'm worried that I might want one."

"I'm not good at confrontation, so unscramble this phrase in your head for a surprise message."